I'm too hot for the PTA

2of3 is, by being two-of-three, the middle child. This is a role that he embraces whole-heartedly. I swear he's got a check list of house rules that he keeps stashed under his pillow, and every night before beds plots full-fledged warfare on another one. His favorite (and my least favorite) to break is the "You MAY NOT ask for playdates rule". We have this rule because he will ask anyone within a 5 mile radius for a playdate, regardless of their schedules, our schedule, or their level of body odour. It's seriously the single most annoying thing he does. And he's really convincing in his requests. He will convince a full grown adult that his mother and he and the child of the adult in question have taken thorough steps to plan the world's best playdate ever, ensuring that the parent will say "yes" without a moments hesitation, because they naturally assume that they have forgotten some key element of this arrangement, they must have just forgotten, if this kids mom is in the know.


Dear Vancouver Parents,


I am NOT in the know.


This little tick my son has causes me to have a house full of children all the time. In Denver, it caused my son to go home from school with a random assortment of other parents. Like I said, he's convincing. So convincing that school administrators fall for it.


Yesterday, as the boys were coming in the door from school, 1of3 ran upstairs to tell me that 2of3 had made a new friend at school and that they wanted a playdate. He then told me that the kid was here, and so was his dad. I go to the door and there, sure enough, is a random child, with his random little brother, and his random dad, too. 2of3 had totally convinced this guy that his son was due for a playdate at Chez Mr. Lady and that his mom (me) was totally ok with it and that the kid was to just walk home with my kids. At least the dad had the sense to walk with them. But he really believed that this was a planned thing, and maybe he'd just forgotten about it somehow.


What's fun about this is that we were going out for fancy-pants dinner last night and I was just about ready to leave for the dinner when the boys came home. And so, unlike a normal mom on a normal afternoon, answering the door in yoga pants and a ponytail, I answered the door in this...

With the hottest red lipstick you've ever seen. With my strappy red heels. With my hair all done, curled in that way you can curl you hair in a few random pieces that makes it look as though at one point it was perfectly curled and then you spent a very engaging afternoon in the naked company of someone else.


I looked, hot. Way hot. Way too hot for a mom at 3:30 in the afternoon. I wish I had a camera in my hand so you could see the look on this guy's face as I opened the door.

I cannot wait for the first PTA meeting.